Search for Self

I was cleaning out my old email recently, as the spambucket was getting full. I came across an interesting message, one of those annoying little surveys that people send all over the place with GBs of headers, clogging up the internet and raising the prices for everyone, slowly but surely… but I digress, and this post isn’t about the evils of Junk mail. (Stay tuned for that here. I’m sure I’ll get on another antispam kick one of these days. :) )

The email was a “rate your geekness” kinda thing. Two of the questions were:

4: I never call a member of the opposite sex until I first google them.
5: I know what it means to “google” someone.

I realized that I do this, and I was amused at another example of how quickly our beautiful language evolves as technology changes society. (Btw, I lost a geek point because I ever call members of the opposite sex.)

Then it occurred to me, What does the internet say about me? So, I googled myself. (This wasn’t the first time I’ve done this, of course. Just the first time I’ve blogged about it.)

Read on for the results.

First of course, there’s the obvious - first thing, which means that I passed the test - and the OTC, which has my name all over it. Also a couple of blogrollers. And one or two online forums where I’ve participated.

But as everyone knows (or ought to!) the top obvious links only tell half of the story. Besides, the above accounts for only about a quarter of the results.

Once upon a time, I wrote a review for a book called Guerrilla Dating Tactics. It was an excellent book, and I had just benefitted from the wisdom I gained within its pages - I was in a great mood, and wrote the glowing review that Sharyn Wolf deserved.

Damn, from my google results, you’d've thought I launched a freaking PR campaign. Sure, they’re all second-page stuff, but that review shows up on 11 separate pages. My god - it’s almost 2 years old. In Internet years, that’s Dead Sea Scroll material! Somewhat obnoxious, though. If someone decided to check me out, they’d see that review over and over again, think I’m obsessed or something…
Kudos to whoever IS running the PR campaign. Guess I can’t blame them. I’d do the same thing. The writing is splendid, after all.

And, somehow, 9types apparently has the best SEO strategy on the damn planet. If you search for just about anything that appears in the title of one of the posts over there, that page will almost certianly get first-page ranking.

This site was an enneagram messageboard where I used to go to argue about crap in my angry rationalist phase. But you can’t get anything accomplished by shouting at stone deaf stupid people, and eventually I realized that and moved on. Now, I have no idea who this “Golden Boy” is that decided to tell me that I’m a beautiful man… It was kinda weird, if you ask me.

And I’ve written how many articles about how many different things online? I leave comments everywhere I go; I sign my work like I’m afraid I might forget my name; why, my trail across the web is positively full of itself! And yet, from my Google results, one would think that I am a ranting nihilist obsessed with Sharyn Wolf!

But here I am nihilistically ranting about Sharyn Wolf… Ah, I guess Google doesn’t lie.

The moral of the story:

  1. Always sign everything as “Isaac Schlueter.” No more can I be just “isaac.”
  2. Review more books.
  3. Don’t read too much into your Google results!

PS: Just occurred to me - every one of those pages was referring to me, not some other Isaac Schlueter. Neat.

I’ve hooked up Google Alert to automatically send trackbacks to this post as it finds references to me online.

13 Responses to “Search for Self”

  1. On March 11th, 2004 at 08:39:36, Anonymous Said: Books: Guerrilla Dating Tactics: Strategies, Tips and … … isaac schlueter Was this review helpful to you? 0 of 1 people found the following review helpful: This stuff works, really!!, July 24, 2001, …

  2. On March 12th, 2004 at 20:43:22, Anonymous Said:

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  3. On March 14th, 2004 at 08:47:25, Anonymous Said:

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  6. On March 23rd, 2004 at 12:53:24, Anonymous Said:

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  8. On March 29th, 2004 at 13:10:12, Anonymous Said:

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  12. On April 15th, 2004 at 12:54:03, Anonymous Said:

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  13. On April 17th, 2004 at 01:56:11, Anonymous Said:

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