Where Does Salt Come From?

The next stop was Broadway, where I would get off and walk for several blocks to reach the Santa Fe Trolley Depot. Jehova McSalty got off at the same stop.

I saw him pull out a pack of smokes, just I was reaching for mine. I asked him for a light.

While lighting my cigarette, I asked him for a pamphlet. He gave me one.

“Are you saved?”

“Not so much. Can I have another one? For a friend.”

“Of course.” Hands it to me as I return his lighter.

I take a half-step away from him, then turn as if as an afterthought. “Actually, can I have a few more?” He looks at me oddly. This is the opposite of what people do to people like him. I love it.

Hands me 2 more.

“Really, can you spare any more than that? If not, it’s ok, but… um… I’d really like a few more.”

He’s getting suspicious.

“What do you need them for?” he asks.

“Saving souls.” At this, he brightens up a little. Poor dumb fuck.

“Well… um…” Not sure how to react. “How many do you need?”

This is the part where most atheists choke. But not me. I’ve done this before. The only hard part is keeping a straight face.

“Can I have all of them?” Man. Solid as a rock. My poker face was spectacular. I am an innocent little lamb. Looking him straight in the eye. I’m not going anywhere. You’ll have to either say “No” or give me what I want, Bud, cause I ain’t taking any hints.

Two full seconds passed. Maybe three. I didn’t say anything.

“Well… here.” He opens up his bag. Pulls out a bound stack of at least several hundred, maybe a thousand, tightly wrapped in plastic from the printer. It’s about 12 inches long. “I can’t give you all of them, but I can give you these.”

“Thank you so much. You’ve been very kind.”

“God bless you!”

“Right.” Damn, but I’m a rude little shit.

On the way to the train station, I dropped it in the nastiest dumpster I could find.

1000 souls. Saved.

2 Responses to “Where Does Salt Come From?”

  1. On May 6th, 2004 at 10:16:23, Graham Said:

    LOL! I’ll have to try this some time…

  2. On May 9th, 2004 at 05:19:33, George Said:

    Funny shit. Now I know what to do in that situation.

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